Today I walked into my house after work with an armload of stuff. I plopped it down, and immediately went in search for something, anything, to quell the rumbling hunger in my stomach. I poured a bowl of cereal, and picked that up, teetering, along with all my stuff and headed back to my room. Upon turning the corner into my hallway I about skidded to a stop. There on my bookcase, was my mail. And sticking up out of my mail was this very enormous envelope about half an inch thick (literally). I could not contain my excitement.

Being one who always tries to delay satisfaction with various things, I decided to first eat my bowl of cereal which would certainly get soggy, and THEN open the package to discover where I would be spending the next two years of my life. I sat down at my desk and ate that bowl of cereal, not once taking my eyes off of the envelope. As soon as I swallowed the last of the milk, I said a quick prayer, asking God to prepare me for what was inside the envelope, and that wherever it was that I was going, that it was all in his plans. Then I tore into it.

When I first applied for the Peace Corps and they asked me where I wanted to go, I pretty much thought in my mind that I wanted to go anywhere except Latin/South America and definitely not Asia. I was told I would most likely be going to Africa, which is exactly where I wanted to go. But then my trip got postponed...then it got canceled. Now I was faced with the probability that I would most likely be going to China. I was not entirely thrilled. Knowing this I ripped open my package, pulled out my acceptance letter, and quickly scanned it only to find the words "People's Republic of China" right there--right in the middle of the page. Surprisingly enough, I didn't feel disappointed. All of a sudden, I just knew that it was right, and I was comfortable with the prospect. It was, in a way, familiar. Having spent six weeks there previously, I know, to some extent, what to expect in moving to China. I also know that living in a large city in China I will be afforded a lot of comforts I'm used to living in America, and I also know that I will be somewhat safer.

I will be leaving June 29. I will return for good on August 10, 2012. I am extremely excited at this opportunity, and thank all of my friends and family for the amazing support they have been so far on my journey and I know will continue to be even as I move literally to the other side of the world.

Tonight I saw one of the kids I use to babysit. He's a senior in high school now--almost in college. I just graduated college. When did the age gap start to close in? He used to be a very young child, and I a seemingly far older teenager. However, if I recall, this was before I could drive.

I met with my personal trainer for the first time today. I almost threw up. I wasn't overworked, I was just overstuffed from having glutted myself yesterday on foods I won't be able to eat for the next 6 weeks: Pei Wei honey seared chicken, coke, fresh baked chocolate chips cookies...yep, I overdid myself. Tomorrow I'm going to attend a Pilates class at my gym with my friend Dawn. Then the next day we'll do yoga. Very excited. No, this isn't a new year's resolution.

I don't think I have a new year's resolution. Nothing specific at least. I have some things to work on, but it wasn't because I felt this overwhelming rush of goal-making and purpose since the holidays are over. It just happened to be good timing.

There was a guy at my gym today wearing a Chelsea Blue's Drogba jersey. I think I would have gone over to talk to him had I not been in the middle of a personal training session. Perhaps I'll be able to strike up a conversation with him some other time.

"Running away" makes this sound so bad. But that's exactly what this is. A chance to get away from the places where people have these preconceived notions of me; where people expect certain things of me, good and bad.

I believe in their mission, I do. I believe in helping others and being a citizen of the world. But more than that, I believe that it will help me to become the person I need to become.

For so long, I thought I had been hurt so badly by so many people. It has taken me until now to realize that it wasn't them...it was me. I have been using people to hurt myself. Subconsciously sabotaging relationships because I didn't feel worthy of being loved. I was afraid of what they would really think of me, afraid to let people just love me. If I drove them away, then it was me choosing not to need them. But then why did it still hurt so bad?

"Running away" makes this sound so bad. But maybe, for once, it really is the best choice I could make.